Alright, back in business

My computer is up and running. The cox cable guy was more than helpful, believe me.

I have a few random thoughts I have to get out. I was wanting to do it today while I was at work...but you know...it's work. So I had to just think my little thoughts in my head and I couldn't type it out. Ahh, the release of getting thoughts out in the open....

I had a day today, where everything was right in the world. Nothing special happened, believe me! Things just felt good and my heart felt happy.

Some days...weeks...I feel so incredibly dark and I can't put my finger on it and I just feel like nothing is right. When I'm not in those moments, like right now, I can't possibly understand why I feel that way sometimes. I'm just writing this down, so that when I feel down, I can look at this and remember how happy I am at times too. I have a lot of good things going on and so many blessings to be grateful for. I need to focus on those more when I have that black cloud hanging around me pulling me down.

I am grateful for:

• my beautiful boys that are healthy and strong...and smart and funny and amazing
• my supportive family - mom, dad, sister and bro-in-law - who go the extra mile to help me with the boys, help with my move, and help me do anything and everything, whenever I need it
• super duper cool in-laws who have been so wonderful to us and let us live with them for so long. Helped us get our feet on the ground and that helped us into a home.
• super-duper cool sister-in laws who treat me like a real sister.
• a job close by where I can work with cool people like my stake president and they let me know I am appreciated.
• a chance to learn, grow, and better myself
• a beautiful day, with new opportunities...educational, vocational, life lessons, realizations, friendships, special moments, and a blue sky
• a place to live!!! a place to call our own and a place that is our HOME
• friends......friends that listen, friends that paint my house, friends that laugh with me, cry with me, shop with me, go to movies & dinner with me, encourage me, strengthen me, lift me, help watch my kids, make me laugh, help me move & carry heavy boxes, put furniture together, give me your time, and help make my life better because you are in it. (and family: hello! you are friends too!)
• a knowledge of the gospel principles, to know the happiness it brings when lived
• Heavenly Father's love, to feel it, to know He is mindful of me...

You know, just a side note to myself...when I was down, I was talking to my bishop about it and he suggested I do few things... pray in the morning and at night with my boys, kneeling down, read my scriptures everyday and have family night. We don't always succeed at the kneeling part, but we have done fairly well at everything else. : ) (that's hard ok!) But I have noticed such a difference. It is nice to say at the beginning of the day all of the things you are thankful for and want to accomplish during the day and ask for His help. And it's just as good to evaluate at the end of the day, all the things you could have done better and pray for that help and notice all of the blessings throughout the day and be grateful for them. Those suggestions have really helped bring the spirit back into my life...notice I didn't say make things easier! There are always challenges, and long days, and kids that throw fits. But it's so much more do-able when I have a closer relationship with my Heavenly Father and stay closer to the spirit.

Done preaching, I promise. It was for myself. I need to come back and read this when I have my pity party moments, which happen frequently.

I'm with Candace...I don't blog when I am B-or-B. Which is busy or bummed. I'm glad you shared with us Candace. We all feel that way sometimes, but don't share it. It's nice to be real sometimes.